birthday

may

An autumnal bounty from the New Norfolk markets in early May. The last blackberries of the season!

Friends, how is it June? How?!

I figured if I don’t write you an update soon, it will be Christmas before you hear from me again - so here I am. The only excuse I can offer for my lengthy silence is busy-ness and so much time being spent writing and thinking and reading that in my leisure time I yearn to look at something other than a computer screen.

You may have guessed, the heat has been turned up on my PhD - I am now almost 75% of the way there with it. If we apply the metaphor of running a marathon to the PhD (it’s one of my favourite metaphors, as I’m sure you’ve noticed over the years), I am at the equivalent of almost at Mile 20. To be honest, this is the part of running the London Marathon that I don’t remember. Miles 19 to about 23 were a real blur! It’s an apt comparison. I don’t know where the last few months have gone.

But, as I said to a friend last week, I have waited my entire life to do this so I am determined to savour and enjoy it as much as I can, rather than give in to the overwhelm. The marathon at the 75% stage was just a matter of staying mentally strong and getting through it until I was really on the final stretch, but I don’t want to do that with the PhD. It’s the most momentous thing I’ve ever done. Sometimes I find myself, sitting in my cosy office on campus, looking at all my books on the shelves, the post-its on the wall, the resident possum in the gum trees outside (who comes out during the day A LOT) and am in awe that it’s finally happening, I am doing it. I allow myself to feel joy, amazement and gratitude, even a little pride, in those moments.

Life has always been a constant balancing act for me, and perhaps it always will be. I think a lot of it comes down to self forgiveness - I’m not perfect nor am I a machine that can keep going and going without enough rest and replenishment. I wish (and thought) I was but adding productivity guilt into the mix is not serving me. Self care really has to be a priority if I want to enjoy the process, not to mention keep my creative work and practice sustainable. I’ve been trying to bear that in mind these past few weeks.

So, yes, April and May have been MAMMOTH months for me and Tom but we have happily managed to find lots of fun and exciting things to enjoy along the way. “What a year this is turning out to be,” Tom said to me at the start of May. My sentiments exactly!

Let me fill you in on May then, friends. The month of Philmas!

Favourite experience/s of the month

May was full of wonderful experiences but the best one, hands down, was returning to the great city of Melbourne for a birthday trip which consisted mostly of shopping, eating and seeing friends. We also made another trip a week later, for a wonderful wedding, but more on that in the June wrap-up!

Other highlights of May included:

  • Giving a paper for the Professional Historians Association (Vic/Tas chapter) at Hobart’s State Library, which went better than I could have hoped (apparently there’s a video of it on YouTube which even our postman has seen!)

  • Making my baby nephew laugh for the first time (he’s so adorable!)

  • A day trip with a dear friend to New Norfolk where we bought locally-grown blackberries, garlic, apples and secondhand books

  • Publishing an article in the Guardian, and the wonderful response to it - in fact, it went live while we were asleep so both Tom and I woke up to texts from friends in the UK who had seen it before we had! The whole response to it was really amazing. I honestly thought that it would be like most things I write, that it would go live and within an hour or two it would be yesterday’s news! It was so touching (and thrilling) to be read and understood so generously by people all over the world. It reminded me that I do have relevant things to say and it’s always worth the agonising discomfort of putting myself out there.

  • Turning 42 in one of my favourite cities and then coming home and celebrating with my family. When we went round to see one of my sisters, her daughter (nearly 4) proudly announced they had made me a cake, which melted my heart (and it was so delicious). More birthday thoughts further on.

  • My dad’s 70th, which was a fitting celebration for a wonderful man I am proud every day to call my father (I said as much in my brief speech - Mum’s speech was by far the best though, there was barely a dry eye in the house!).

Reading

I feel like I’m always reading at the moment! I’m trying to remember what I read for leisure in May….

Far out, I loved this book - Edwina Preston’s Bad Art Mother, shortlisted for this year’s Stella Prize (my friend Tash got me the winner’s book as a birthday present which I’ve been saving for a post-deadline treat in July). As I read, I thought this reminds me so much of Gwen Harwood, if she had been more like Sylvia Plath (having read and reviewed the excellent Ann Marie Priest biography last year) and it turned out, Preston had read Harwood’s letters as inspiration. Fascinating! I am finding myself more and more drawn to fiction set in 1960s and 1970s Australia, particularly Melbourne, so I loved this book’s setting, as well as its premise. I don’t think enough books deal with the reality of how deeply, painfully selfish most women have to be in order to make their art a priority, even if they don’t have children. I think this is what I’ve realised, both in my own life and through the reading of books such as these, that women are still expected to, as Mary Wollstonecraft put it in 1792, “make themselves AGREEABLE” (!) and put the needs of others first, regardless of whether they’re mothers or not. It’s something we always seem to be pushing back against. Bad Art Mother was a refreshing look at this, from both sides of the coin. It has a nostalgic but also quite sweeping, all-consuming energy - Christos Tsiolkas was quite right when he described it as a “panorama” of a novel - as all the women, of varying marital statuses, in the story push against the gender barriers of the time and fight to be recognised as legitimate artists. It also made me realise that we might have come a long way but there’s still a long way to go. Worth a read!

I found Patti Smith’s Just Kids on the shelf of our Melbourne Airbnb, a book I had heard praised and much talked of for years and it was 100% worthy of the hype. I love Patti’s writing (I have a few other books of hers) but I must confess I didn’t know much about her and her life. There are many haunting moments in Just Kids but the one I keep thinking about is her description of giving birth to a child she had to put up for adoption, how cruel the medical staff were to her as an young unmarried mother, and how “carrying a child had literally opened the skin of my belly” (51). I loved it so much I procured a copy on my return (I only got three-quarters of the way through it during the trip) and have also treated myself to Patti’s A Book of Days.

I picked up one of my favourite Youtuber’s cookbooks while we were in Melbourne, from a great bookstore called Brunswick Bound - it’s fabulous (both the book and the bookstore).

I recently discovered the work of photographer Alan Villiers and was astonished at how beautiful and modern these images of early 20th century merchant ships are - the people look like they could be walking around today!

Why winning the Booker didn’t make this author feel she’d reached the top - I love Bernardine Evaristo, her writing, her wit, her thoughts on everything from politics to self development. Her energy is so motivating. She’s awesome.

Listening to

In the lead up to my talk for the Professional Historians Association, anxiety swirled around my body like an electrical storm. I found re-listening to this episode of The Imperfects very handy. I also enjoyed this episode of The Imperfects where they discussed a “40 Things I Wish I’d Known at 40” viral article and which items on the list resonated with them the most. Eye opening!

Therapy Works: Trisha Goddard on overcoming enormous adversity and finding love and happiness - this was excellent, though very difficult listening in parts, especially hearing about the racial abuse she has endured, particularly as a child. I gasped aloud in the street when she recalled something a teacher said to her. Trisha said she realised that the Black Lives Matter movement had helped her appreciate how much she had internalised over the first five or so decades of her life, thinking she was the problem. Listening to her articulate that, I realised that perhaps #MeToo has done the same for me. I always loved seeing Trisha on TV when I was a child. She was Australia’s first Black TV presenter - she did Playschool in the mornings, and The 7:30 Report in the evenings. What an icon!

James and Ashley Stay At Home: interviews with Anna Spargo-Ryan and Lee Kofman, both excellent.

Films to be Buried With, with Brett Goldstein: I only just discovered this podcast and it’s really fabulous! I have listened to the Dolly Alderton episode which was hilarious and highly relatable, as always.

Otherwise, just Poppy Ackroyd’s marvellous album Sketches on repeat, throughout May. Perfect writing music.

PICKING / GROWING

Another highlight of May - I have an allotment now! Dad gave me a packet of broad bean seeds to celebrate, so they were the first things I planted. Look how well they’re doing already! I also have a broccoli/kale hybrid growing in there, that was given to me by another gardener. September will be the time to get really excited and start planting other things - I have many other kinds of beans, as well as peas, silverbeet, zucchini, kale and broccoli seeds in my seed tin ready to go.

Eating/COOKING

Porridge bread has re-entered my regular repertoire and I am glad of it - it’s the most delicious bread which has an almost crumpet-like quality. Porridge is an essential winter breakfast so I always make a little extra so I can make this bread. I often double the original recipe and bake it in my enormous German bread tin (that I bought for something like €4 on one of our trips to Berlin) which gives us a loaf big enough to last the week! Do try it if you’re curious, I can’t recommend it more highly. It’s particularly good with sweet toppings like jam, marmalade or honey, but it’s also pretty great with avocado and Vegemite.

The food in Melbourne deserves a post of its own - I have written an article for Onya which I hope will be published soon so when it is I will send you there to read about all the wonderful things we indulged in on our little holiday! I keep thinking about the king oyster mushroom ‘calamari’ from the Green Man’s Arms (which Tom and I now refer to as our local), the vegan lemon delicious ice cream at Girls and Boys, the pizza at Red Sparrow and the ‘chicken’ katsu sando at Brother Bon.

And, confession time, this was my first ever trip to Melbourne where I didn’t go to the Shanghai Dumpling House. I know, I’m shocked too.

At the start of May (or perhaps it was the end of April, who knows!) I made green tomato pickle with all the green tomatoes from my home garden, and the box that was generously given to me at the allotment! I have about 10 jars maturing in the cupboard now, ready for spring and summer deliciousness. It’s my great-grandmother’s recipe, which is really amazing.

I have become quite addicted to fresh blackberries again, after years of not having them (the last time I had them might have been when I went foraging while I still lived in England!) - I particularly like them in a crumble with apples or apricots. I also have a jar of plums in my apocalypse cupboard (you had one too, right?) which I’d like to use up, so I daresay a plum and blackberry crumble is in. my near future.

I made Asma Khan’s aloo gobi mattar which was delicious, and continued to stock the freezer with this vegan bolognese which is seriously sensational.

We went to the Thai Veggie Hutt in the city (Hobart, that is) for lunch a few times in May - all vegetarian and vegan, and I had forgotten how utterly scrumptious all the food is. The pumpkin curry was a winner, both times, I loved how spicy and layered with flavour it was.

Not that much cooking in May, mostly eating, as other people did the cooking! It made a nice change.

Drinking

T2 French Earl Grey - I had written this tea off for years, thinking it too floral and overbearing for my palate. I accidentally ordered it in a quaint New Norfolk tearoom that used to be a church hall, and it was delightful. The trick, for me, is only to use one spoonful and brew it for 60 seconds, no more. Then it’s light and fragrant and truly delicious.

My favourite drink in Melbourne was the incredible Cos-no mocktail at the Green Man’s Arms - cranberry, blackberry and lime juices - sharp, fruity and very sophisticated!

Watching

Colin from Accounts (Binge): OMG this was fabulous. A fresh concept, clever writing, great acting and SO funny! And I loved that it was set in Sydney.

Call the Midwife (Binge and ABC iView) - Binge is the most appropriate channel for this show, as that is exactly what I have done over the past few months!

I think I’m in the minority on the finale of Succession (Binge) - I thought it was a complete anti-climax and I came away feeling very numb, in disbelief and unsure what the point of any of it had been. It reminded me of how I felt in the immediate aftermath of learning the Leave vote had won and when the news broke that Trump had won the US election (oh, 2016, you were a shitshow). If that was what Jesse Armstrong intended for the series - to show us that the people (the families!) who control the media are in fact very dangerous because the decisions they make in their own self interest have wider repercussions for the rest of the world that they never even consider - then he succeeded! The Times seemed to agree with me.

The finale of Ted Lasso (Apple TV+), by comparison, was sublime. That is how you end a show. It was so good, we’re now watching the whole series again from the beginning.

Wearing/ using

These amazing earrings (the lemons and the female sign) from Snafu Designs in Melbourne - I have barely stopped wearing them. They even look great with a hoodie! Speaking of the hoodie, I haven’t stopped wearing that either! A Reconciliation Week special from Captain Robbo.

A lime green roll-neck crop jumper from Tassie icon Keshet - it goes with everything.

Beautiful homemade socks that my aunt made me as a birthday gift - they are so comfy and warm, I never want to wear any other kind of socks.

Adventure pants from Captain Robbo in Northcote - I wasn’t sure these would suit me but they are wonderful and I can’t stop wearing them! I got the Magic Mushrooms and the Hot Pink Plane Trees. And if you pop into the store, make sure you meet the resident pooch, Twiggy!

Perhaps “not wearing/using” might be a category in future, because I feel moved to tell you I’ve been wearing my Fitbit less, certainly not to sleep as I had been doing this past year or so. I felt my “performance” was being evaluated and I’ve learned (the hard way) that’s not a good space for me to be in when I already feel under pressure in other parts of my life. If you are similarly moulded, I encourage you to give yourself a breather from your devices that measure your daily activities. Streaks can be motivating but they can also add more pressure when that’s the last thing you need.

feeling grateful for

I’m sure most of you recognise this woman - here’s a reminder if not!

My friends. People who show up for me time and time again, who are always full of warmth and ready with a kind word, whose assumptions are always generous. People who start a text with “I know I can tell you this, because you won’t take it the wrong way...” (and I likewise!). I am particularly grateful for two writing friends who always pick up the phone or reply to a text when I reach out in the midst of a crisis of confidence.

I am also grateful to have turned 42, an age quite a few people I’ve known in my life tragically never reached. I remember, in my late twenties, wondering what it would be like to be this age, the same age Virginia Woolf was when she wrote To The Lighthouse. Now I’m here. What does it feel like? Like I’m more myself, and that life is richer. It’s not as simple as it used to be (and of course I can only see it was simpler from where I’m standing now, 15 years on), but it’s undoubtedly richer.

I felt so lucky, marking turning 42 in Melbourne with my darling husband and our many friends there. It was a wonderful birthday, the best I’ve had in a while. These days my birthday is a day of real contemplation, a bit like a New Year, where I reflect on the year that’s gone and try to release anything that might have dragged me down, as well as any past ambitions that don’t really match up with who I am now. It’s a day where I remind myself how far I’ve come, how grateful I am for all the good things in my life, and think about what really matters to me, now, in this present moment. Perhaps I am starting to appreciate the limits to my time here on this planet. I am trying to use it well.

Quote of the MONTH

“Sometimes there are no rules.” - Mary Oliver

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you also had a wonderful May….and I’ll look forward to sharing June with you very soon!

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

catching up

Dear friends, how have you been? It feels like ages since I last wrote a post - last week was simply too much of a whirlwind to even contemplate it. And now, it’s Friday yet again, and it will be November before we know it.

The last fortnight has held a lot of work, a lot of running around, a lot of a-ha moments, and a lot of signs that I have probably been working too hard and need to take it easy. Therapy has shown me that busy-ness and work, much as I enjoy it, is also how I distract myself and keep at bay things I might not want to talk about or am not ready to process yet. It’s been that kind of year, and I’m sure it will continue that way until it’s out. Such is the way of things, I’ve learned.

As always I find my anchoring in writing, in music, in reading, in meditation, in nature and in the company of the people I love most. How deeply grateful I am to have all those things.

The main event is that we had a joyful celebration of Tom’s birthday, which was quite a change from his last two birthdays - in 2020 we could only have a limited number of people to the house, and last year we were completely locked down (an introvert’s dream birthday, you could say). So that’s leading on nicely to…

Favourite experience/s of the week

A quiet but fun-filled day celebrating Tom, where we did all his favourite things and had lovely visits and Facetimes with family and friends. We shared a cake with our niece and nephew who are heart-burstingly adorable. And we had a wonderful trip to Gold Class where we saw a great film, had champagne brought to us, and felt very spoiled indeed. You only turn 42 once, after all, and I’m glad my darling Tommy got to do it in style.

I also attended my friend Holly’s book event in Hobart - despite getting caught in a biblical downpour on the way there and therefore looking like I’d been for a swim in my clothes when I arrived, it was a wonderful, memorable and inspiring evening as expected!

Reading

I finished Lucy Caldwell’s excellent short story collection Intimacies - about young women trying to find their place in the world, navigating emigration, motherhood, nostalgia, loss, temptation. I really enjoyed it. It also inspired me to trawl through my hard drives and find short stories I wrote during my London years that I never quite finished, on very similar themes. I discovered Lucy Caldwell quite by accident and I’m so glad I did! She’s a great writer, deserving of as much praise as Sally Rooney, in my opinion.

I’m dipping in and out of Break the Internet by Olivia Yallop which is basically a deep dive into the world of influencers and the industry that has built up around them, particularly over the last seven or so years. I’m finding it both infuriating and fascinating! The internet, and the world, was a very different place when I started blogging in 2005. Back then it was hard to imagine anyone wanting to watch a video of someone unboxing something, let alone that you might get famous, amass millions of followers and a veritable fortune for doing so. Some children I used to babysit (who are now, naturally, in their twenties!) have done just that, which boggles my mind. It’s an interesting experience to read this book as someone who didn’t exactly have a non-existent online profile themselves back in the day, and to be torn between feeling like I dodged a bullet or missed the boat. On balance I think it was the former. Either way it’s a great read and showcases what a disturbing landscape has been created in terms of why and how people get famous these days. A perfect companion/antidote would be So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson, an excellent book I read a few years ago, which hammers home the very dark side of “going viral”.

Rereading Natalie Goldberg’s The True Secret of Writing - I started reading The Body Keeps the Score but found that a bit heavy for bedtime reading, so switched to something that would get me in my happy place! Natalie’s words always make me want to write. I should also reread Dani Shapiro’s Still Writing, one of my favourite books on the creative life.

I also finished reading a wonderful biography of Gwen Harwood and writing a review of it, which I’ll hopefully be able to share in a few weeks.

Creative Boom: Beat the industry’s seven deadly sins with these brilliant books - I want to read all of these!

Catapult: Trying to escape the trap of digital productivity by Richa Kaul Padte - oh boy, how I related to this! My own stepping away from social media at the start of the year was a spontaneous decision but in the nearly 10 months that have elapsed since then, I can see it was something that had been brewing in my subconscious for a very long time. Padte makes some really interesting points about social media turning your life into a performance even when you are consciously trying to subvert that idea:

Even when I am not posting a picture, when I have ideologically committed to not posting it, I am still producing it in my mind’s eye. This compulsive documentation of my surroundings isn’t for personal use; instead, it is vertically shot and artfully arranged for a grid I can’t seem to escape. It’s what the environmentalist Vandana Shiva terms elsewhere a “colonization of the mind,” which feels, in the digital era, inextricably linked with the logic of productivity.

To be honest, I can’t believe it’s been nearly a year. I deactivated Facebook quite some time before this year’s complete exodus, so it’s been even longer since I was on there in many meaningful way. It has profoundly changed my life and outlook. I have so much to say about it and I’ll do another update for you all soon. Thank you Richa Kaul Padte for throwing a log on my internal fire!

I finished Jarvis Cocker’s Good Pop Bad Pop which was as wonderful as I had anticipated. I wonder about doing a project of my own along similar lines - I have boxes and boxes of detritus from my childhood and early adulthood that my parents stored for me while I lived in the UK, and now naturally boxes of ephemera from my life in the UK too. Jarvis ponders in his book, as he is faced with an unwieldy pile of mess in his loft - why do we save things? Why do we collect things? What do these random piles of stuff we amass in the course of our lives and keep hidden away say about us and what we value? What sort of story do they tell about us and our lives? These are fascinating questions and I very much enjoyed Jarvis’s attempts to answer them.

And finally, I am listening to Toni Morrison’s Beloved on audiobook, read by the author herself, as I finish an embroidery project. It’s blowing my mind. Our Hidden Nerve session on Thursday (I can’t quite believe we only have one more to go) featured a few passages from it as an illustration of the presenter’s point about use of metaphor, how to create sensuousness in your writing without being obvious, and also how to write about anger. It was a really big penny-drop moment for me and I think it deserves a post all of its own, so stay tuned for that.

Listening to

On my morning runs, I’ve been doing something different and listening to affirmations over house music. Elroy Spoonface Powell (Chakra Blue) is my favourite. It’s a great change, and particularly good on days I feel a bit slow and lethargic. Running is a great mood lifter anyway but with these affirmations in my AirPods, it’s a complete endorphin-filled experience! Highly recommended. You can listen to Chakra Blue on Tidal (as I do) or Spotify.

Happy Place: The Craig David episode was brilliant. If you’re a recovering people pleaser, this will resonate.

Chill and Prosper with Denise Duffield-Thomas: I don’t know how this landed in my feed but I’m glad I discovered it. I listened to the episode where Denise talks about how to fix undercharging and overdelivering in business and I had quite a few a-ha moments! Worth a listen for all you freelancers out there!

I have recently made a playlist of favourite classical tracks and have recently rediscovered Brahms’ Serenades which were a favourite of mine as a teenager, which I played non-stop (but quietly) when I sat up late writing by candlelight like Jo March in Little Women. I love how music instantly transports you back to the time you associate with it, I could practically see my school bag in the corner.

Eating

I made Deliciously Ella’s spiced cauliflower and cashew pilaf traybake again (pictured) which was even nicer than the first time - probably because I added some chilli powder, haha! It’s a really easy and delicious meal, I thoroughly recommend trying it out.

An Italian-flavoured two lentil soup which I made a vat of - took a container round to my sister who has a newborn and an almost-three-year-old, and then we enjoyed the rest both as a soup with bread and then as a pasta sauce the next day when it had thickened overnight. Love a meal that does double duty!

Vegan chocolate cake for Tom’s birthday - which our niece pronounced “delicious”! - and vegan banana bread, just for something extra!

I made a rather divine creamy broccoli pasta with capers and aged cashew cheese, which we both loved. I think there was a sweet potato mac and cheese in there too.

Now I’m trying to meal plan for the next week and this is what I have in mind:

  • Quinoa pad thai (a Rachel Ama recipe, from her second and latest book)

  • Fennel and butter bean stew

  • Veggie burgers

  • Some sort of curry, most likely an Indian flavoured one because I bought a rather addictive mango pickle from Namaste Spices in Moonah and am glad of any excuse to eat it

  • Chickpea and sausage casserole

  • Most likely a pasta as well, which Tom has said on many occasions he could happily eat every day!

That’s all I’ve got so far! What’s on your meal plan?

Watching

Tom and I went to see Amsterdam for his birthday outing and we LOVED it. Never, ever believe the online reviews. I’m glad we didn’t! It’s quite something when a film set nearly 90 years ago manages to say a great deal about the present day.

Amsterdam is a complex murder mystery that unfolds alongside a poignant tale of love and friendship between three people who met and bonded on the battlefields of the First World War. Despite the horrors they witnessed and endured at the Front, Burt (Christian Bale), Harold (John David Washington) and Valerie (Margot Robbie) spend a happy period of living it up in post-war Amsterdam, and all return to America feeling hopeful and optimistic about the future. Nearly 15 years later, the three are drawn back together when their old army colonel dies suddenly. His daughter (Taylor Swift) believes he has been murdered and asks Burt and Harold, who have stayed in touch all this time and are still best friends, to investigate on the quiet. Unfortunately, the daughter’s hunch is correct and she too is bumped off before Burt and Harold can confirm her suspicions. There is then an extensive flashback to their time in the army and in Amsterdam, which give the viewer many clues as to how they’ve ended up in this situation. Back in 1930s New York, they find themselves unexpectedly reunited with Valerie and the three join forces once again to unearth the culprit and to also expose some dangerous right-wing underground activities that are brewing, some of which involve a few people they know.

Written and directed by David O.Russell, Amsterdam is a very clever and well-produced film full of dark humour but with also some very serious messages about the world we live in today: the prejudices that are still alive and well; how needless suffering is allowed to happen; how tolerance of dangerous rhetoric can have terrible consequences (the theme of turning a blind eye was brilliantly symbolised with the use of eyes in Valerie’s artwork and in Burt’s glass eye); the futility of war and greed; and that choosing love over hate is vital but not enough on its own. We also have to fight to protect kindness, which is usually the first casualty of power being pursued at all costs. “I’m very happy to be unimportant and live in a place that has love and beauty,” muses Valerie. “Art and love, that’s what makes life worth living.”

I have spent much of the last six years despairing over the state of politics in the Western world, as I imagine many of you have too. Living in the UK as Brexit rumbled and the Tories stripped the country’s integrity away piece by piece; sharing my American friends’ horror, grief and fear as Trump was voted in; too numb to cry as I watched the Australian election results in 2019 and we learned Morrison was staying where he was for the foreseeable. In each situation, I always wondered HOW?! How has this been allowed to happen?! I am no political scientist but I am a historian. And the great lesson of history is that people and nations rarely learn from it. Watching this film, two years on from the ousting of Trump, was a curious thing. I have listened to many podcasts and read many articles about the situation and conditions that were created in America that allowed him to rise to power in the first place, but it never crystallised more for me than in the watching of Amsterdam. All the clues are there, if you want to see them. It’s not about the 1930s, or the aftermath of the First World War. It’s about the world we have lived in for the past few decades, and where it all came from.

Honestly, I cannot recommend it enough. As does the birthday boy, who said “if they were releasing it on 4K Blu-Ray tomorrow, we’d be watching again tomorrow. I can’t wait to see it again!”

Wearing

I haven’t worn them yet but I finally bit the bullet and bought myself two pairs of new running tights, as the ones I bought in 2019 are starting to get holes in them! In fact most of my running gear is very old - I still have the Sweaty Betty capris I ran the London Marathon in (which also have holes, so I use those for gardening), Lorna Jane gear I’ve had since 2013, yoga pants I bought in Canada in 2007 (!), the list goes on. It’s all lasted pretty well considering how I practically live in workout gear. My friend Anita recommended Australian brand Abi + Joseph to me ages ago and this week they had a 70% off sale, so I was out of excuses! I’m excited to run in tights that have a pocket for my phone, instead of using my spi-belt that has never sat on my hips properly or wearing a jacket with zipped pockets, which just gets too hot this time of year. Will report back.

Quote of the week

Holly quoted this short poem by Mary Oliver at her event last Friday evening, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I think it sums up the human experience in general!

“We shake with joy, we shake with grief. What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” - Mary Oliver


If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Have a happy and safe weekend xx

35 things to do before I turn 36

Goodness, come May I am well and truly in my MID THIRTIES.

When the hell did that happen?

In my head, I'm still that 26 year old who left Australia with a backpack strapped on and so much hope and excitement in her heart.

So much has happened in those ten years. So much that I had to write a book about it

When I first arrived in London, this bustling hive of a city where even going to shops and taking the tube to work was a giddy adventure for a while, I had so much I wanted to do I didn't really know where to start, so I just dove in head first. I loved living like that.

But as the years have passed and my life here has undoubtedly become more domestic and started to grow roots (not that that's a bad thing), it's been very easy for things to pass me by and to put things off until later when I might have more time, money or energy. I feel like a madwoman sometimes, mentally possessed by ideas and projects and things I desperately want to do and get off the ground, and physically surrounded by detritus of my mental chaos, books, letters, receipts, plans, everywhere.

I want to get a handle on things. I want to recapture some of the free-spirited fun of my twenties, but start feeling organised and like I have a plan, as would befit a woman in her mid-thirties. Gulp! 

No matter what age I have been, I hasten to add, I have yearned to be organised, socially useful, present and making the most of things. So with that in mind, I've come up with a few (well, 35) things to do in the next five weeks that will contribute greatly to that feeling! 

So, here we go. 

  1. Declutter my phone - back up, organise and delete photos; back-up poems written in notes, etc
  2. Run 10k (either on my own or with my running group)
  3. Write more letters
  4. Make a wedding album (finally!) 
  5. Read an Edith Wharton novel (I know, terrible!)
  6. Plant my cavolo nero, courgette, radish, french beans, kohlrabi and tomato seeds
  7. Keep blogging
  8. Keep meditating
  9. Become a member of Kew Gardens
  10. Declutter my study and reorganise my bookshelves
  11. Get another parkrun PB
  12. Buy some smart and comfortable work shoes that I can wear in spring, summer and autumn (I'm covered with winter shoes!)
  13. Treat myself to another oracle deck
  14. Get a haircut/colour
  15. Pitch that *top secret thing* to *you know who*
  16. Get my favourite (broken!) statement necklace fixed/restrung
  17. Get a trolley to keep my makeup in
  18. Get a pedicure (well overdue!)
  19. Learn how to make a potato fondant
  20. Clean out my tea cupboard (and treat myself to some new ones!)
  21. Subscribe to the London Review of Books
  22. Organise my vintage photo collection
  23. Find another yoga class (and start going regularly)
  24. Book our anniversary holiday
  25. Call the ATO (boring but necessary)
  26. Buy a new teapot
  27. Go out for dumplings 
  28. See a live comedy show
  29. Redecorate and declutter bedroom
  30. Go to the National Portrait Gallery
  31. Go to Maltby Street markets
  32. Take a hiphop or Beyonce style dance class
  33. Finish my current journal and start a new one
  34. Buy a new jacket in a bright colour
  35. Try a new restaurant 

If I manage to do all of them, it's going to be a fun and productive month!